I'm fine.

inhale.
exhale.
repeat.

time passes,
people change,
and hearts are broken.

life moves on.

I have nothing insightful or encouraging to say. just complaints. so feel free to skip through this and move on with your life.

I know God has a plan for me and I know that it is bigger and better than anything I could plan. but my one problem with His plan is that I can't seem to accept it. I am sure it's what is right but I'm like a child who just can't see past what she wants at that moment.

I want answers. I want to hear His voice, I want to feel Him with me guiding me through everything. there is purpose for the silence and there is a reason for all of it but for some reason knowing that is just not good enough for me. and realizing this makes me feel even worse, I am lost and broken and there is nothing I can do but be still and wait.

I'm trying. not too successfully, but I'm trying.

I know I am put in this place for a reason, but why? I found myself asking Him that today. why here? I want to escape. I feel trapped. I want out. but I can't. not for a long time.

I'm surviving. this life is not about me.

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?
Now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

the little things.

• smiling at strangers-they almost always smile back. for all you know, that could be the first time they've smiled all day.
• sharp pencils.
• green grass.
• hand-written letters.
• when someone says "you made my day."-it makes my day.
• that moment when you realize it's friday.-then the tacky song pops into your head, just admit it.
• last-minute plans that end up being some of your favorite memories.
• when someone cute calls you cute.
• doing things you used to do as a kid.
• songs you can relate to.
• when you finally understand something.
• going places with your best friend.
• successful photoshoots-they can make or beak my day.
• when he messages your first.-when you read that, what was the first name that popped into your head?
• realizing you had nothing to worry about.
• when little kids look up to you.
• cherry coke from sonic.
• the smell of cookies.
• chipped nail polish.
• feeling pretty - a rare, but amazing feeling.
• fashion magazines.
• beautiful photographs - I could look through them for hours.
• using big words.
• the color blue.
• being impulsive. - most of the time, at least.
• dresses.
• being told that you inspire someone.
• when people go out of their way to be kind.
• talking to people about things they are passionate about.
• books that you can't put down.
• hearing your favorite song on the radio.
• talking to strangers.
• being there for someone.
• good hair days.
• randomly remembering something that makes you smile.
• meeting new people.
• being home alone.
• wearing your favorite outfit.
• learning new words.
• new clothes.
• falling in love with a song and never getting tired of it.
• timeless inside jokes.
• curly hair.
• people with beautiful eyes.
• one on one conversations.
• good listeners.
• laughing till you cry.
• talking to someone you trust.
• looking at old pictures.
• when your favorite show is on.