I have nothing insightful or encouraging to say. just complaints. so feel free to skip through this and move on with your life.
I know God has a plan for me and I know that it is bigger and better than anything I could plan. but my one problem with His plan is that I can't seem to accept it. I am sure it's what is right but I'm like a child who just can't see past what she wants at that moment.
I want answers. I want to hear His voice, I want to feel Him with me guiding me through everything. there is purpose for the silence and there is a reason for all of it but for some reason knowing that is just not good enough for me. and realizing this makes me feel even worse, I am lost and broken and there is nothing I can do but be still and wait.
I'm trying. not too successfully, but I'm trying.
I know I am put in this place for a reason, but why? I found myself asking Him that today. why here? I want to escape. I feel trapped. I want out. but I can't. not for a long time.
I'm surviving. this life is not about me.